Spirit Daily


Breaking 'Souls-Ties': Mysterious Bonds That Can Hold Us To Someone Negatively

By Michael H. Brown

Are you obsessed and tormented with thoughts of someone? Are you in bondage to a thing, a situation, or a person? If so, you may be suffering from what some describe as an unhealthy "soul tie." During life there are many interactions that knit us all together (often, as in a good marriage, to our benefit) -- but the over-attachment to a person or thing, the wrong kind of tie, can cause us great turmoil.

Unfortunately, this often occurs and can be hidden deeply in our pasts. When there is a mysterious power that comes over us, we can break that by praying to Jesus. Is there something you can't seem to shake, no matter what you do? Is there a person who dominates or manipulates you? Are there subtle blocks in your life?

If so, it may be from a negative soul tie. Incredibly, according to one expert, we often have soul ties that we're not even aware of but that are causing everything from a lack of peace to physical ailments. Let's start from the top. The human being is really three in one: a spirit, a soul, and a body. The spirit is the divine nature of us, the part that is designed to be in regular communication with God. Next is the soul, which encompasses the mind, the intellect, the will, and the emotions. It is this part of us that enables us to live practically in this world, and it has dominion over the body. Then there is the body itself, which is the "house" in which we temporarily live and with which we transport ourselves (in the physical realm).

It is that middle area, the soul, where we see the great battles between good and evil. This is where many decisions and emotions are spawned and where we become attached and often overly or unwisely attached to others. If the attachment or "soul tie" is a healthy one, such as a balanced friendship, it benefits us; it helps us progress; it brings us spiritual, emotional, and physical comfort. If it is not healthy, it does the opposite.

How do we enter into harmful ties? Mainly, say experts William and Sue Banks, through sin. When we sin with someone or are involved with another in something that is negative (such as gossip), this forms an invisible bond. Are we not told by Scripture that in sexual relations we become "as one"?

There is that powerful bond, and it also occurs when one person tries to dominate or take advantage of another. To have a soul tie is to cling, cleave, or attach oneself to another. This happens both consciously and without our knowing it. It can happen through casual contact, by simply looking at pornography (whereby we become attached to the subject of the photo). And when we become cleaved to someone, we share that person's darkness.

Jesus told us not to become overly attached to things or creatures, and yet we see this constantly. There are those who dominate through coercion, fear, and brute force, while others seek control through flattery or gifts.

Anything excessive, in this regard, can lead to a negative soul tie. "Symptoms of ungodly bonds are those of the son who hates his father, or the daughter who hates her mother due to either over-control and domination, or to lack of any reasonable discipline," note the Banks.

How else are we "bound"? Sometimes, people even try to bind us by prophesying for us! Such is spiritual manipulation -- directing our lives according to their "visions." "Super spirituality manipulation is practiced by an individual in the church, or outside it, who professes to be more spiritual than others (i.e., you), claims a close relationship with God, to hear Him regularly and directly with guidance for others," note the Banks. "Not very logical: Whom is God most likely to speak to about you, but to you?"

Although it is certainly essential to love people, it is wrong to become obsessed or to hand over our will to others. There are intellectual soul ties. There are emotional soul ties. There are erotic soul ties. There are unhealthy spiritual attachments -- as when one seeks someone seeks out a fortuneteller. When one person controls or dominates another, there is real power because "control" over another is the goal witchcraft.

In other words, too often we shortchange ourselves and give a piece of our souls to others. When we feel less than free, there is an excellent chance that it is because of a soul tie that needs to be broken. God gives us all equal gifts and is in communcation with everyone. Nothing Brings Us Closer To God Than Engaging The Heart And Thanking Him. Yet we often hand our free will to a friend, a co-worker, an acquaintance, or a relative. We develop evil soul-ties through faithlessness, fear, and befriending those living in sinfulness (as opposed to converting them).

This can allow in the forces.

We know we may be the victims of an evil soul-tie when we lose our individuality and confidence, our spiritual equilibrium, our ability to love others, or our ability to clearly think. If the presence of someone causes you undue strain or pressure, it is time to pray for God to reveal whether there is a soul-tie that needs to be broken. This should especially be done when we feel that too much illness or misfortune is around us or when we feel a loss of personal liberty in any way.

We should especially do this if we feel out of touch with God. A soul-tie with another can block our relationship with our Creator. If you have an obsessive thought life, if you feel whipsawed, it is time to go to the Holy Spirit. He will show you the soul-ties in your life -- and He will repair the damage.

[Bookstore resources: Breaking Unhealthy Soul-Ties]

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Nov 2003