In Life Certain People Are 'Toxic' And The Antidote Is Found In
know how it is. There are simply people with whom you have trouble getting
along. Sometimes, it's right there in the open -- in confrontation, in tension,
More often, it's something
that's below the surface: You're feeling great and then when you enter into
the presence of someone, or a group, your spirit is suddenly -- inexplicably --
You lose your peace. You feel
antagonism or simply don't feel "yourself." You feel arid. For no reason, you
These are warning signals. There
are people who rub each other the wrong way -- who seem nearly allergic to one
another -- and often there is a spiritual component behind it.
We know such from Scripture.
"For our struggle is not against
flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world
forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the
heavenly places," St. Paul tells us in
Ephesians 6 --
which we should all read on a regular basis.
isn't the person who is aggravating us, but a spirit attached
to that person. Such can come from sin, of course, but also from family lines or
from inner wounds which darkness has hooked into.
That's why Jesus said not to
judge. We are never sure why anyone is how he or she is. It's also why He said
to look for the lumber in our own eyes first. We could have something
that is causing the tension, or enhancing an effect that comes from others (like
a volatile chemical reaction). We could also be exaggerating the effect, or even
imagining it. Whatever the case, we must always see beyond spiritual disturbance
to the goodness of people.
This is very important to keep in
mind. Often, we must separate the person from the spirit. Good
people, nice people, ostensibly kind people can have demons attached to
them. It is a trial for them and those around them.
When we are consistently
attacked, we have to ask why God is allowing it. Is He trying to make us more
accepting? Is He trying to enhance our patience?
At the same
time, a smiling face may be hiding resentment or jealousy that unleashes
a demon. Against this too must we be on guard. The Spirit of Truth will guide
us. There is "smoldering" dislike. Someone is "caustic." He has an "air" about
him. He is "volatile" or "fuming" (and causing us to fume!).
It's like a chemical reaction.
Without love and attention to our
interior lives, we pollute each other and potentiate the acid in others.
How are we to react when the mere
presence of someone causes our blood to boil? What are we supposed to do when
out of the blue the interaction with a "toxic" person causes us to say things we
don't even mean and go into a frenzy of anger?
exposure to such a circumstance, we should also put on protective "gear."
This starts with love. Love the person who causes you spiritual agitation and
you will have started a process of insulation. Forgive, purify yourself -- and
watch what you think. A bubble of protection will sprout around you.
Have joy. Joy spreads around you
like an umbrella. It neutralizes. It is infectious -- in a good way.
If you have joy you have
closeness to God and closeness to God causes the devil to fumble with his vials
of chemicals. Don't drink of his poison!
Forgive even before the person
causes you distress. Our very Mass starts with a request for God to forgive us
for what we have said, what we have thought, what we have done, what we have
failed to do -- telling us right away that thoughts are actual!
Take "the shield of faith, with
which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one."
Simply put, let faith keep your head above the roiling waters!
Identify the spirit with whomever
you are fighting and odds are the conflict will end soon or immediately. Cast
out that spirit by the Flame of the Sword of Bethlehem, which is the power of
the love of the Infant. This is very potent -- when said in the name of Jesus.
Cast spirits out. The saints can help you.
If the trial persists, it may be
that the person is doing something that's giving a spirit the legal right to
remain, and in this case it is wise to distance oneself, at least for a time. If
you can approach the person, and explain the situation, or pray with the person,
all the better.
There must be adequate
prayer, which means that we are at peace at the end of praying.
Be good. Be positive.
Know that you can rise above the negative. Don't drink of the poison.
Don't return one toxic effect for another.
Do you realize how many
marriages could be saved if couples who are locked in bitter disputes
knew where the energy was originating?
One toxic effect can
cause a chain reaction.
Recognize that a spirit
is there when there is tension, when there is inexplicable anger,
when there is rage, and knowing that you will not only neutralize it but
(if you persist) transcend it forever.
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