Spiritual Healing of the Family, by Fr. Robert DeGrandis, the highly popular, charismatic priest takes a look at how we can heal our families of spiritual disorders, how we must learn to pray for this, how to approach inner healing, and how first we have to heal ourselves. He also discusses how to purge negative spirits that may be haunting marriages. CLICK HERE



We have written before of how important it is to go back through life and send love to those you should have loved -- especially if you harmed or thought ill of someone. It is very important.

We have also written about how crucial it is to forgive: We must release all resentment we may have of anyone for anything.

These are important points. Forgive means to rid anger. Anger only holds us down.

But something else is just as crucial:

We must forgive ourselves.

We must self-exonerate.

That sounds strange, doesn't it -- that we need to forgive ourselves?

Yet, it's grounded in our faith.

Time and again, Catholicism has taught that once we have confessed, repented, and done penance, we should release guilt. Scripture warns that it's the enemy who is the accuser.

Remarkably, those who study dying patients or near-death experiences say that self-forgiveness can be a key to a happy passage into eternity -- that we must detach from emotional burdens or those burdens will weigh us down, like an obsession! Says a woman who specializes in deliverance (and the afterlife): "Only those souls will allow themselves to go to Heaven which, at the moment of death, had settled accounts with their own lives and have a clear conscience. Though they committed sins during their lives, they were able to forgive themselves and others. They believed in a loving and forgiving God."

Now, this is hardly to say that we can simply forgive ourselves and avoid expiation. God will determine the extent of our purification (here and on the other side). There is purgatory. There is also hell.

But we don't need to make that worse than it is.

Encountering his deceased wife and angels as he was dying, one man said she told him, "I have forgiven you. Now you need to forgive yourself, so I can move on. It's time now."

That comes to us from a doctor who specialized in hospice care. "We will carry our memories into the next realm, possibly the positive and the negative," he wrote. "If one does not forgive himself or herself, the pain of those memories follows."

At Medjugorje, Mary stated the same last month when she said, "Free yourself of everything from the past which burdens you and gives you a sense of guilt; of everything that brought you to error darkness. Accept the light. Be born anew in the justice of my Son."

A few months before: "I will help you to triumph over errors and temptations with my grace. I will teach you love, love which wipes away all sins and makes you perfect, love which gives you the peace of my Son now and forever. Peace with you and in you, because I am the Queen of Peace." 

And before that (in January): "Do not be afraid, my children, I am here with you, I am next to you. I am showing you the way to forgive yourselves, to forgive others, and, with sincere repentance of heart, to kneel before the Father."

When we don't forgive a person we bind to that person and when we don't forgive ourselves we bind ourselves to darkness.

The truth will set you free, and the truth is that God forgives you if you don't repeat the errors (and if you don't find enjoyment in lustful memories).

Let them go. Let guilt go.

Unforgiveness leads to self-pitying and then loathing and works against love.

To forgive is to release resentment. You hurt yourself when you resent yourself! It's a self-curse.

Send up beams of light -- not darkness.

When we don't forgive ourselves, it's a catch-22: we also find it hard to forgive others. And as a result, we may have stubborn "blocks" in our lives. We may subconsciously wish punishment (and even illness) upon ourselves. "Remember," said the hospice doctor, "forgiveness and love are positive attributes, so using them also summons the angels in large numbers. Just merely trying to change, forgive, and love will allow the angels to move toward healing and joy."

You can also design your own hell -- here and perhaps hereafter.

God is strict, yes. He has His rules. We obey them stringently. But when we have converted and confessed, we must move on.

He has washed us with His Blood.

What do you hold against yourself? What haven't you released? What sins still weigh on you?

Take them to the Cross.

"[A] reason why souls don't go to the Light is that they're afraid of being punished for what they did," wrote a woman who studied the afterlife. "And so the concourse between Heaven and earth is full of ghosts who have both minor infringements and great sins on their consciences. They don't believe that if only they could forgive themselves their sins, then God would forgive them too."

Give yourself a break. As the doctor noted, "it hurts God to think that one cannot find forgiveness, because He gave His only Son to the world. All we have to do is believe with all our hearts that His Son died for sins past, present, and future."

It is Satan who seeks to keep you tied (bound) to your past, and you know the old advice: remind the devil of his future every time he tries to remind you of your past.

[resources: The God of Miracles]

[See also: How to forgive]


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